Celebrating “Day of the Dead”

We are coming into a season of heightened awareness and observance.

The month of October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. It’s also Breast Cancer Awareness month. And of course, we are also coming up on the celebration of Halloween.

You might wonder how these events are connected. But I promise you, we’ll get there.

Back in 2006, I gave birth to a stillborn daughter named Skyler Faith. This loss devastated me to a degree for which I was unprepared. How can someone grieve for a person who never really got to live? But since those days, I’ve come to a realization about grief. It’s not about the life that was lived. It is about the future. It’s the heavy weight of all the moments you will never get to share with a loved one.

It’s the baby who never got to take her first steps or attend her first day of kindergarten. It’s the dad who will never get to see his daughter’s graduation or to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. It’s the married couple who never gets to go on that vacation they planned together because illness and loss cut short those plans. It’s all the birthdays, the Christmases, the anniversaries, stretching out into a future which can no longer be shared with the loved one.

This is what so many people fail to understand about the timeline of grief. It is not possible to confine it within a set period of time. It is not a one-time event. It is a permanent alteration to the entire fabric of existence. And it never ends. Grief is really love. And love never ends, so neither does grief.

Fortunately, the Christian calendar creates space for the lifetime work of grief, even though the rest of the world does not. The holiday of “All Saint’s Day” was established on November 1 back in the 11th century as a day to honor and to pray for the spirits of those we loved and lost.

In Mexican tradition, this Christian holiday is celebrated as “Dia de los Muertos” (Day of the Dead). Far from a time of gloom and sadness, this is a day to celebrate the souls of our loved ones. It’s a day to decorate their graves and to create beautiful “ofrendas,” altars featuring photos of loved ones along with favorite foods or drinks. There are parades and feasts to celebrate.

So what is there to celebrate about death and grief? In our Christian faith, a lot. We celebrate that the soul is eternal, that our loved ones live forever. We celebrate that we will see them again. And we celebrate that the bond of love we share with them is stronger than death.

Halloween, while it does have pagan origins, occurs on the “eve” of All Saints’ Day (“All Hallow’s Eve.”).  On this night, people in the secular world celebrate the thin veil that exists between the life of the body and the life of the spirit.

Thankfully, in the Christian faith, we can celebrate our connection to the spiritual world each and every day.

To that end, I want to invite you to join us for “Messy Worship” this Sunday, October 20 from 12-2. Come prepared to build your own “ofrenda” for someone you love and still miss. I invite you to feel a deeper connection with them and to celebrate that bond which still exists, no matter how many years pass.

You can take your “ofrenda” home with you, or place it in our sanctuary, where we will be holding an All Saints’ Day celebration on November 2. 

We would be happy to celebrate with you the eternal spirit of someone that you deeply love and miss.

See you then!

Pastor Amy